[to the tune of uptown girl] im that bitch…catch me dying in a roadside ditch
13 year old me googling Sims 2 cheat codes because I had and have zero patience and motivation to work hard for anything.
so there i am, depression all over my titties
i hate making tea cuz i feel bad for throwing out the teabag. i’m always like i should eat this
The weirdest thing I’ve learned while working for pest control is that snails love rat poison and will actively eat it but hate seseme seeds
I should add that rat poison has NO effect on snails, and they just get super fat cause they gourge themselves in boxes of rat poison
absolute units
me: whats up?
some alternative girl with anime character icon: just watering my plants and looking at my cactus they are gentle and smol like me
me:
please keep me in your prayers guys, nothing happened i just want a fatter ass😔
Reblog for a miracle to happen tonight
do it my dad bought me tickets to infinity war premiere :))
I’m actually gonna try it myself now
IT HAPPENED, A MIRACLE HAPPENED I’M SO HAPPY OMG
997:
mgmt: CONTROL YOURSELF TAKE ONLY WHAT YOU NEED FROM ME
my 2008 self:
